The Funniest Reviews of 2018

 

 

Chatmeter analyzes millions of reviews and comments by customers each year. We’ve seen our fair share of reviews including some really funny reviews. In fact, these reviews are so funny, they deserve their time in the spotlight. Here are the funniest reviews of 2018.

 

How We Found Funny and Weird Reviews

Our data scientist used Chatmeter’s Pulse tool to identify as many funny reviews as we possibly could. Some of these reviews are from current customers and others are just from some of our favorite local spots. We created a list of hilarious keywords to help us identify the funny reviews. By tracking these keywords using Pulse, our sentiment analysis tool, we were able to sift through millions of reviews in a few quick hours.

 

This “Bro” really loves his convenience store.

 

 

How to respond to this review:

When you get a raving review mixed with sarcasm, it can be a little tricky on how best to respond.

  1. Focus on the positives. “Thanks for thinking of us for all your last-minute shopping needs!”
  2. Resolve one of the negative issues in order to create another positive. “We’ll look into getting our liquor license approved for this location, we want you to have nice things!”

 

This girl needs her Jedi Master back

 

 

How to respond to this review:

Let’s face it, there’s a lot going on here. Although she’s trying to make light of the situation, this review is enough to keep future customers away. Here are our best tips for responding to this review.

 

  1. Apologize and offer a resolution. Invite her to try your services again with a different technician, complimentary.
  2. Let her know how you plan to deal with the staff. This isn’t satisfactory behavior of any company.

 

Hipsters… ruining food for the rest of us since 2008

 

 

How to respond to this review:

Giving someone food poisoning is never good. Make sure you start with an apology and thank them for notifying you of the issue. Resolving a review about food poisoning is a touchy subject, make sure you notify the customers you are looking into the problem and will make an effort to ensure this never happens again.

 

 

I’m not sure who Erica is but she should frame this review.

 

 

How to respond to this review:

This is a great review. The best way to respond to this review is by letting the reviewer know that you heard his feedback and you appreciate all the hard work of this employee. You might even want to throw in a reward for the employee and mention it in your response.

 

No teeth, no problem.

 

 

How to respond to this review:

 

De-escalating an angry review is never easy, but we have a few tips that may help.

  1. Apologize. Clearly, the behavior of the staff is not acceptable.
  2. Let them know how you plan on fixing this issue. These customers may not be back but don’t let it prevent you from losing out on future customers. This might be a good time to retrain your staff on how to offer excellent customer service.

 

This is the first review we’ve ever seen written in the form of a dance battle

How to respond to this review:

When responding to “dance battle” reviews there are a few rules you should follow.

  1. Make sure you choose a good song. We suggest “Baby Come Back” (Player), this song has a slow start but it gives you plenty of time to explain how you’re going to improve their experience the next time around.
  2. Your first step should be to start with a thank you, for sharing their experience (and incredible dance moves).
  3. This review went through four dance rounds. Please let them know how you plan to improve one of the elimination rounds and don’t forget to invite them to a rematch, preferably with a better DJ this time around.

 

What is Pulse Sentiment Analysis?

 

Pulse is a tool used to analyze the sentiment of customer reviews. Users can add keywords such as service, staff, food, etc., to identify the reviews and comments of customers. Our AI technology then identifies whether the keywords in each review are associated with a positive, negative, or neutral connotation.

 

Chatmeter’s Pulse identifies the feelings of the customer experience in each review. Not only does it help brands to understand how customers feel about each individual location. But it also tracks the progress of each keyword over time. Our sentiment analysis tool is trusted by 100’s of brands to stay in-the-know about every single location without wasting countless hours shuffling through millions of reviews and comments.

 

How Does Chatmeter Make Responding to Reviews Easier?

Responding to reviews takes a lot of time and attention to detail. Chatmeter’s review management tools make responding to reviews much easier for multi-location brands and agencies. Here are some of the features included in our review management tools:

  • In-dashboard responding.
  • Custom templates with merge tags.
  • Bulk responding with rotating templates.

 

Each and every one of these features is designed to help big brands stay on top of their reviews at every location and protect their brand nationwide.

 

Want to see how Chatmeter’s Pulse and review management tools can help protect your brand’s reputation? Request a free brand audit today!